How often do you notice something feels 'off' in an interaction with another person, but you can't name why?
Maybe you were left questioning yourself because their feedback didn't match your intention. Wondering if you did something "wrong", even though you thought you were genuinely being thoughtful, well-intentioned, or willing to adjust in the situation.
This theme has been what's most alive for me lately. I'm noticing how I've spent a lot of energy trying to "figure out" what was happening beneath the surface. Thinking: What was that? Am I doing something wrong? Is there something I'm missing? If I just had those answers, maybe I could stop questioning myself...
But here's what I've realized: I don't need to understand all the details. I just need to trust what I'm feeling and let that guide my choices.
Insight
Now, I realize my felt sense was telling me something wasn't adding up. And that was enough in that moment.
I didn't need intellectual understanding of energy dynamics (though that came later). I didn't need to decode the other person's intention or get them to validate my experience. I needed to honor what I was sensing.
The temptation to analyze and adjust according to them kept me focused outward, trying to understand someone else. Meanwhile I was overlooking the conflict happening within me as I tried to use someone else as a reference to understand myself.
Here's what trusting my felt sense looks like in practice:
- Naming what I’m noticing without needing proof. “Something feels off here” is valid information, even if I can’t explain why. I trust the understanding will come later, when or if its relevant.
- Asking for clarification instead of assuming. If someone's words and energy don’t match, I can say: “It seems like there's tension/confusion/change in plans —Is there something I missed?”
- Speaking up for myself when my boundary is crossed. Even if they didn’t “mean to” or don’t agree with my experience.
- Removing myself from situations that consistently feel misaligned. I don’t need permission or a “good enough reason” to step away.
As humans we're relational beings, and learning to share space and collaborate to create meaning within an experience is beautiful and necessary. However, the inner work of knowing ourselves is primary.
